Have you ever been totally crushed out on someone, but unsure how to get them to notice you exist? Well, instead of sitting around waiting for them to get the message you’re into them, you could try flirting with them to speed things up. Don’t worry if you don’t know how to flirt, because that’s exactly what we’re going to cover in this article.
Talking to your crush for the first time can be nerve wracking, but the more you do it the easier it gets. You just have to bite the bullet and see if you’re both on the same page. Here are some pointers on how to flirt with your crush so they get the message.
Work on your confidence
Your success in flirting comes down to one thing: confidence. If you don’t feel confident, you won’t want to flirt with them or feel able to. Start doing things that give you a much needed confidence boost.
That might mean getting a makeover, surrounding yourself with more confident people, repeating positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror, or doing something you’re particularly good at (like playing an instrument) right before you speak to them.
Make sure your crush knows who you are
If you haven’t yet spoken to your crush, and you’re not sure if they’re aware of you, be sure to casually introduce yourself. You can even use this as an introduction to a longer conversation with them.Start with something like, “Hi (their name), I don’t think we’ve met.” Then just take it from there.
Begin with a normal conversation
There’s no rush to start flirting with them, so don’t go in hot and heavy as soon as you start chatting. Take your time, read the vibe you’re getting from them, and see where the conversation goes. Even if you take a few weeks before amping things up, that’s okay. Go at your own pace.
If you’re particularly nervous, focus on having a conversation with them instead. Don’t worry about flirting until you’ve conquered this step.
Send a text
If face-to-face flirting seems a little daunting right now, that’s okay. Get their number when you introduce yourself, and start chatting via texts. This will take a lot of the pressure off and give you more time to think about what to say.
Say something nice
Most people love receiving compliments. Just try and make your compliment about something non-physical. This shows that you’re not superficial, and you value the person’s personality more than their looks.
This is also a great way for you to show your crush that you’re paying attention and have noticed subtle things about them that not everyone does.
But remember, you have to mean what you say – so don’t just pluck something out of thin air because you heard it in a movie or you think it would sound good. Always be genuine, and don’t over do it.
Teasing is good
When people are attracted to each other, they will often use teasing as a way to flirt. This doesn’t mean you say or do something cruel. It means gently poking fun at them in a way that makes them want to tease you back. Think of it like a tango between the two of you, which gradually builds the sexual tension.
If you’re funny, this can be a great way to flirt with your crush so they get the message loud and clear.
Touch them lightly
A word of caution here – don’t jump in and touch anyone you don’t know or have only just met. This one is reserved for when you’ve gotten to know someone and built a rapport with them over time. And even then, it’s important not to overstep the boundary and make them feel uncomfortable in any way.
When you’ve reached a stage where you’re both well acquainted, you might lightly touch their arm when they tell you a joke, a high five in celebration, or even share a friendly hug. When considered, touch is a great way to communicate that you like someone.
Maintain eye contact & smile
We say a lot with our body language. And when it comes to flirting, your eyes and lips say the most. When you’re speaking to your crush, be sure to maintain eye contact, just a little longer than you usually would (but not too long).
Smiling often tells the other person you’re enjoying their company, and encourages them to stick around.
Keep the focus on them
A great tip for flirting is to keep the conversation focused on your crush. This will make them feel like you’re interested in getting to know them more. Ask them lots of open ended questions that require more than a one word answer.
That doesn’t mean you keep quiet about yourself though! You want the conversation to be back and forth like a great tennis match.
When you’re ready, ask them out
Both guys and girls can do the asking out, so don’t allow your gender to stop you going after what you want!
Once you’ve gotten to know each other a little and flirted a bit, ask them what they’re doing in a weeks time. You don’t have to label it as a date if you don’t want to. Just invite them to spend more time with you doing something you’ll both enjoy. If they ask you if it’s a date and you want it to be, then be bold and say yes.
These simple tips will help you flirt like a pro, so your crush finally notices. But remember, once you’ve done your part, what happens next is out of your hands. They might not feel the same way, or they might just not be interested in dating right now. If that’s the case, accept it and don’t be pushy.
Don’t allow failure to knock you back and keep you down. You’re bound to meet someone who doesn’t feel the same way, but that isn’t a reflection on you. Even flirting doesn’t go to plan, don’t let it eat away at your confidence.
Pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and put yourself out there again. You’re one step closer to finding the right person for you!